I recently finished a [written] interview with All About Worship [.com] on worship leading at IHOP, being married to a rapper, and my new album. You can read it here. I'm not going to lie, it took me forever to finish, and I rewrote everything about 3 times. It's one thing to write a post on my own blog where I feel known and loved, with hundreds of wordy posts that give context to who I am and what I'm blabbing about, it's something else to write an "interview" to an audience that probably hasn't heard of me at all. Being able reread and edit, while still trying to sound like it's something I'd actually say if we were having a conversation was a little difficult. Being sincere is one of my life values, and as I was working on this, I was reminded why.

And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and all discernment; That you may approve things that are excellent; that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ. Philippians 1:9-10

Sincere.

I want to be sincere in everything that I do. Another word I substitute for that is "authentic." I want everything that I do and say to be filled with authenticity - something that's real to me. Not just conjured or made-up, or what I feel like I'm supposed to say, feel, and express. I want to be real, yo. I think this is something that many people in my generation hold as a value. They've become disillusioned with parents, mentors, pastors or leaders in the body of Christ for putting on a facade and pretending. They're tired of being sold a party line or a bill of goods. They're looking for sincerity, for reality and it's become our rallying cry. But in the quest for reality, we've missed the second part...

Without offense.

Have you ever heard someone say something offensive, then shrug it off saying, "I'm just being real!" I love how this verse follows with the prayer that we would be without offense until the day of Christ. That in our quest for sincerity, we would not sacrifice the bond of brotherly love and preference toward another. It's a balancing act for sure, and it is especially hard for me, maybe not in writing - but definitely in person.

You see, I have a problem with my words. I don't know when it started - it's as if it's always been there, even as a small child. But when I feel backed up against a corner, or feel strongly about something, I have a tendency to whip out my sword, and trust me, it's not the Bible. This secret weapon is the word of my mouth. And let me tell you, when the verbal sparring starts, somebody's getting slashed and it is not me. Many times, I have been so absorbed with the "truth" being said, that I've had zero regard to the delicacy or diplomacy of my delivery. I am hopelessly black and white, and for years, I felt like somehow this justified my behavior. Combine an analytical mind, a little discernment, and a sharp tongue, and you've got a pretty ruthless combination. This little habit of mine can stay under wraps for a while, but would eventually manifest itself in my job, ministry, friendship, and then...yep, you knew it was coming, my marriage.

Marriage has a peculiar way of revealing the heart like, um instantly, and it just isn't nice to verbally decimate your spouse. Most people don't respond well to verbal attack, and especially not my husband! He even has a special word for it, but I won't tell you what it is. Needless to say, I've had lots of practice in the past year on loving and honoring with my words, while sincerely communicating how I feel and what I think, and it has been the gift of the Lord! He knew what was lying dormant in my heart and that it needed to get dealt with. I've got a few posts up my sleeve on how the Lord uses covenant marriage relationships to prune/sharpen/reveal/expose/undo/reshape/redeem/restore - but I'll save those till later. I do want to share some of the keys the Lord gave me in the process:

1. Take Some Time

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19

Do you remember in You've Got Mail (cause who hasn't seen that movie right?) where Kathleen Kelly [Meg Ryan] wants to say exactly what she thinks in the moment but can't seem to find the words, and Joe Fox [Tom Hanks] explains that he can and does, but lives to regret it? Well I am Joe Fox. Many times, stuff comes flying out of my mouth that I just wish I could take back. But I'm learning (just learning, not mastered) that before I let the Queen of Snarky come out of her hidey hole, to take a few minutes to breathe, and relax before firing off that email or breaking out my verbal machete. Quick to listen, slow to speak. Deep breath. It really helps me.

2. Have Graceful Speech, Seasoned with Salt

Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. Colossians 4:6

For a while, I think I interpreted this Scripture like I could just throw some salt in there, and if it got in some wounds, well that was too bad. I don't think that's what it means. But it also doesn't mean having an answer is wrong - it doesn't say "Mum's the word" and we should be quite and demure all the time. Jesus had a lot to say, but he had grace upon his lips, and we should too. So many times I pray that my words would be filled with "grace and flavor" instead of a "harsh and hurtful" M.O.

3. Speak the Truth in Love

...speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. Ephesians 4:14-15

I mentioned that I'm pretty black and white right? I have been in situations where something needed to be said to an individual: maybe they were manifesting glaring, obvious, harmful issues or behavior, or a situation was biblically, morally, ethically what-have-you wrong. And whether they were non-confrontational, or didn't want to commit to the pastoral follow-through, for whatever reason, "leadership" in the situation never confronted the individual and the result was irreparable harm to their personal life and walk with the Lord. Those are the places in my heart that I have the most difficult time walking in forgiveness towards leaders. Oh how it pains me.

There are times as a leader, in whatever capacity, or in relationship that you will need to speak the truth to your friend, your spouse, or your flock. It may be difficult and uncomfortable, but it is your God-given responsibility and cannot be shirked by being "slow to speak." That's an inappropriate application. Whether it's speaking the truth against deceitful teaching as this verse is referring, or speaking the truth to deceitful lifestyle or heart posture, this is something we're mandated to walk out. But it's truth in love and boy does that make all the difference. Walking in love isn't something that you can just decide one day to do, it takes prayerful pursuit to walk out more and more.

Called as a messenger, struggling with the delivery?

Maybe you're like me. Feel called to be a messenger, long to be authentic and sincere, but struggle at the "without offense" part. Or maybe you've spent so much time trying to avoid offending others that you've lost the authority and uniqueness of your own voice. It's important to remember that God has called us to be both sincere and without offense. There's no place for either robot yes-men, or renegade verbal assassins.

I've started a YouTube Channel to upload some clips from prayer room set to. Here's a preview. And here's my channel if you want to subscribe. There's only 3 right now, but I'm working on posting more.



I'm also looking for bookstores to submit my album to. If your church or ministry has a bookstore or upcoming conference and would like to consider stocking my cd, please us the contact form (link in the right sidebar) to send me a message about it.

I'm thankful for the following churches and ministries that are currently selling my cd. First Assembly DeLand in DeLand Florida, The Ramp in Hamilton, Alabama, and the Forerunner Bookstore in Kansas City.

If you're interested in buying a physical copy of my album, please use the Forerunner Bookstore, or if you're interested in quantities of 10 or more, contact me.

I'm so thankful to everyone who have purchased the cd from the Forerunner Bookstore (they sold out and have reordered!), or from the digital methods iTunes or Amazon. I've currently sold 165 cd's to bookstores and friends. Unfortunately, I don't have an accurate numbers for the digital downloads at this time, but on February 14, when the album debuted on iTunes, it was #98 on the Gospel charts. I'm pretty excited about #98. Thank you all for your support.

I don't talk a lot about my work on this blog, but I did want to share a little bit about one of my latest projects. Yesterday we released the official International House of Prayer iPhone/iPod Touch application. As of yet, there's hasn't been a whole lot of hooplah around it because we're still trying to get it updated with all the doodads we want to have on there and make some crucial updates (ahem, spelling). We worked with a great company who prayed with me every time we had a conference call, and despite general fatigue from looking at lines of xml and transcoding lots of videos and audio, I am pretty excited, and I encourage you to download it. And a perk: It's free. Android and iPad soon to follow.

Update: It just dawned on my that this may be the only blog post about this app, so let's talk some credits: Gedy Rivera, designer extraordinaire at IHOP-KC and LifeTree Creative designed the amazing icon and loading screen. Most photos in the app are from Shelley Paulson, App interface by the Church App peeps, and streaming of the prayer room made possible by the amazing media team at IHOP-KC.



Less promotionally, (I don't want to be posting "do this" and "download that" unless my husband has a new song, then it's a shameless plug), I LOVE being able to resource people with things that will authentically serve their walk with the Lord. I've never been a big fan of promos and hype, I have a rep for brutal honesty (which I'm learning through repeated and painful discipline from the Lord to season with grace), but I would love to be able to work with ministries that are producing content that really serves people in their walk with the Lord and help them present their content in a way that is accessible, convenient and free. It makes my insides all tingly.

So in light of that, I'm compiling a list of "Groups of People I'd Enjoy Making Another App For" or "People Who Already have Apps that You May not Know About" or "Free Downloads and Teachings and Stuff that I Actually Listen to Regularly" (Can you tell I'm tired and not very eloquent right now?)

**Disclaimer: I do work for IHOP-KC, but all the thoughts and musings and recommendations on my blog are mine and mine alone. I may listen to speakers that others IHOPers don't like at all.

(I'm not saying that I do, but it's possible.)

I may listen to people who have wacky theology on some issues, or people who may fall into sin tomorrow

(I think that's all of us).

Most people at IHOP-KC don't know I have a blog or care. If I recommend something, it's not IHOP-KC recommending it.

(There. I'm sure someone will appreciate that.)**

Neville Johnson. I love Neville. I feel like my spirit has received more discipling through his messages than anyone I have ever listened to, and I would LOVE to be able to work with a team to redo his website and develop an online resource library and app. I post many of his messages in my "Teaching" category because his stuff is very hard to find online and people NEED to hear him. I almost saw him speak live for the first time this summer in Alberta, but last minute, he was unable to come. He does currently have a podcast, so check him out.

Chuck Missler. I'm a nerd, I'm not going to lie, and sometimes I just need to hear a 45-message series on the Book of Genesis dissecting every Hebrew word in the book, or something about Quantum Physics and the creation of the world. And when I'm there, there's nobody like Chuck. The guy can make a meaningful salvation message out of the genealogy of Noah. I would LOVE to see him with a comprehensive resource website, easy to find downloads of his incredible charts, actually the guy needs a study bible too. He's also does currently have an extensive podcast.

David Pawson Is there anything he doesn't have wisdom about? So many great messages, but the website, eek, and with an online mp3 store with messages at over 2£'s a pop, I am just dying to see him with a free resource library. The truth of the matter is in this day and age, young people are NOT going to pay for messages in mp3 content anymore and older people really don't know how it works. Please make a resource library Mr. Pawson! UPDATE!! Check out http://davidpawson.org/ for some downloading Pawson goodness. It looks exactly like MikeBickle.org, but I don't mind. What a great improvement!

John Piper. I really can't even make this list without mentioning Piper's Desiring God website. It is the "I Ching" of resource websites (I'm sure using that comparison is going to get me on his bad list, but I couldn't say the "Bible" of resource websites either! Somebody find me a good metaphor..) His site is what all speakers should aspire to. He gives his books away as free PDF downloads, his sermon archive is neatly organized and easily accessible in video and audio. It really is beautiful. I really can't imagine anything much better. Yes I can, having ALL these speakers in Desiring God. That would be AWESOME, my dream. But they aren't all Calvinists. (Can I get an "Amen"?)

Mark Driscoll at Mars Hill Church in Seattle is like John Piper's trendy nephew. They have an amazing and free resource library, and a great iPhone App that really inspired us at IHOP-KC.

John Sheasby has really rocked my world. I want to tell everybody I know about his stuff - I've posted a few mp3's, but he's graciously provided a lot more for FREE download on his website. Like Neville, I've had to listen to some of John's messages 3 and 4 times in a row to really digest it. I think his website is doing a great job of combining physical teaching product in a store setting for the older generation, and free mp3 downloads for us youngins. I'd like to see him with a weekly Video Blog, kind of a "From Me to You" sort exhortation, what he's studying, what the Lord is saying thing.

Bill Johnson at Bethel Church in Redding, California is in regular rotation - I love the Sermon of the Week, and have been so encouraged time and time again. They also have a iBethelTV website that I've heard is cool, but they lost me with the login and subscription plan, but if you're an avid Bethelite, the subscription plan also gives a hefty discount on conference registration, which is nice.

This list is not meant to be comprehensive, or an advertisement, it's just the list of speakers I listen to the most. There is of course Mike Bickle who has an awesome resource website, and Rick Joyner and Morningstar Ministries that are doing lots of videos as well. I've listened to some awesome Ray Hughes messages from Morningstar. I also love Bobby Conner, whose website looks like its under construction to add more free downloads - Yeah! And there's my friend Shawn Bolz who has a nice podcast, but Shawn, if you're reading this, you need more mp3 downloads on your website

On the Podcast Trend In my "professional" opinion, the Podcast format of disseminating content must be supplemented by individual mp3 message downloads. If you subscribe to a podcast, you're inundated with media that you don't really know if you want to listen to. It's like trying to drink from a fire hose. If you can easily find and download the message you've heard about from a friend, there's a much better chance that message will be listened to with focus and absorbed.

Last but DEFINITELY not least, the mother load, SermonIndex.net with over 17,000 sermons from the greats like Ravenhill, Tozer, Corrie Ten Boom, Jackie Pullinger, Art Katz, and just about everyone else you could think of.

As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts and hope that you are blessed with some new resources to grow in your walk with the Lord.

"Hold On" a compilation album inspired by the documentary Nefarious - exposing the sex trafficking industry was released on iTunes last week and I forgot to blog about it! My husband J.May is rapping on two songs, Hold On, the title track, and Nefarious, and it did really well on the charts - showing up on the Christian charts around #9! Check it out on iTunes here.

J.May's creative process is so different than mine. I usually sit down at the piano, start worshiping, and sing some spontaneous songs. Sometimes I remember some of them and sing them again, and it becomes a song. J.May on the other hand is more like a poet. We'll be working or shopping, and he'll get the strike of genius. He'll go outside the store, sit on a bench and pull out his phone, and start composing verses. That's what happened with the track Hold On, I remember when he wrote those lyrics outside of Target, or what have you, and now I'm pretty excited they're finally on an album.

Update: While considering where J.May actually was when he wrote these verses, we realized that the occasion I was thinking of was actually another song. This track was written on a balcony in Florida while we were on our honeymoon. I now remember him reading me the lines he'd written. (Apparently, I started crying - "It's so good, King of the Slums!" - yeah, that sounds like me)

Quick update on the cd, Isaac Meyer just finished recording on a couple tracks - if you haven't heard his new instrumental album called "Acoustic Rhythms" - it's available now on iTunes, and it's great!! Check it out. I'm really grateful that he's lending his anointed strummings to my project.


Wedding plans are coming along, for those who have asked, Jason and I are getting married May 1 in Kansas City, we're registered at J.C Penney's, Target and Pottery Barn, we're cruising in the Caribbean for our honeymoon, and miracle of miracles, we're closing on our new home next week. The Lord has done so many awesome things, and we're 30-some-odd days out, and I know He's got more in store. I might throw everybody off and holler a "More Lord!" I am a little behind on some things (invitations, ahem!) but other things seem to be ironing out just fine.



The Lord is good, and we covet your prayers with the myriads of details, influx of out-of-town guests, and the flurry of activities. In the midst of all the hustle and bustle, we're reminded a lot about the Lord. I find myself saying, "Earlier, I thought of...and it reminds me of the Lord and how He does this and that..." quite often. It's so wonderful how love and relationship initiated in His heart, He loves relationships and He does so much in us through the natural ones. It can be hard and scary to have to share so much, and divulge ones' heart, and trust and be open, ah but there's life, and joy and healing and cleanness. I can only think of a Sara Groves song at this moment. It's as if she preemptively steals my contemplations for her lyrics: "It's a sweet sweet thing, standing here with you and nothing to hide. Light shining down to our very insides. Loving each other, knowing each other, helping each other come clean." Oh Sara.



J.May tends to be a pretty private guy, but I've been encouraging him to share more of his heart online (you can see a little bit at his website: http://www.jmaymusic.com/ and suspiciously, we have the same webmaster) and I hope he'll make a guest appearance or two on my blog. He is, if you didn't notice, also on my recommended Albums to the right there, and if you haven't check out his album Conflict on iTunes, DO IT!!!!

More soon, thanks to all of you who have prayed, emailed, paypaled @twittered, and facebooked all sorts of encouragement. I appreciate it!

Blessings,

Joanna

Things have been very busy lately, and although I don't have time to go into every detail, I wanted to share some broad strokes and ask for your prayers.

1. I'm in the studio recording a cd! The Lord brought an amazing couple, David and Joy to help fund my first recording project, something that I couldn't have managed to do without help, and I'm in the recording! I'm working with an amazing guy, Luke Hendrickson (check out his instrumental album!). The vision for this project is for a long-play devotional worship album that someone can just put on during their devotional time and "soak" to. I want people to just be able to lay on the floor for an hour and encounter the presence of the Lord during this CD. It is going to feature some spontaneous portions, prophetic songs, instrumental selah's and a couple songs I've written over the course of 7 years at the International House of Prayer.

Already, there have been some amazing musical contributors, like Luke Hendrickson and Isaac Meyer, who just came out with his own instrumental soaking album that is amazing!

I would greatly appreciate your prayers during this time, that the presence of the Lord would truly rest on this project that more people may encounter Him in His glory. That's all I want with this.

2. I'm engaged!! More on this soon, but see that guy J.May in the right hand sidebar? Well we are going to be married this summer! Needless to say, there's a whole lot more to come on this particular topic.

3. I just started working in the IHOP-KC media department working with online video and audio for www.ihop.org (and affiliated ministries). I am super excited to help people find videos, listen or watch the prayer room stream, and develop new and improved video players, search tools, and so much more. I've got some really exciting projects and features in mind coming soon, but again prayer for grace and any video/audio/webstream suggestions are greatly appreciated.

I got a Puppy for my 24th Birthday

Now I realize that I have been a little silent on my blog, and I wanted to explain myself. Meet Austin, my 10-week old birthday puppy. If you don't have a dog, or don't care too much, just scan the pics. Otherwise enjoy my rather detailed dog-servations.

For me, getting a puppy is no small thing. I've never raised a puppy. I grew up in a home with dogs, but none of them were solely my responsibility. While living on my own, I did care for an adult Malamute/Husky Saber before he died, but never a puppy. I had to come to terms with some pretty sobering facts: I will probably have this dog until I'm 36! I will probably get married and have children while owning this dog. The freedom to travel through Europe for the summer is greatly hindered by owning a dog. After I'd exhausted my own, my mom offered her share of fears too, like liability if the dog bites someone, trainability and whether I have enough time to properly commit to rearing an animal. But after weighing the options, and dealing with my reservations, I decided to make the commitment.

After deciding to get a dog, then there were the breed considerations; pedigree, pound, or puppy-mill rescue, and the age possibilities of between 8 weeks to one year. After Googling (they call me "The Google-izer because I google everything) I visited Wayside Waifs, the local Humane Society for animal adoptions, and came across Austin (named after Jill, not Jane). The moment I saw him, I knew he was "the one." After playing with him, doing some additional breed research and bracing myself for a big change, I signed the papers, he had surgery, and I took him home.






I've had Austin for a couple weeks now, and after four years of living alone, it has been quite an adjustment to my lifestyle (and my sleep schedule with those 4 am puppy bathroom breaks). But it's been 3 weeks and things are going pretty good. House training is going great, basic commands, socialization and temperament, shots, finding a vet, etc. are proceeding along just fine. I'm not saying it's not hard, but it's also definitely rewarding.

My list of things that make owning a dog a little easier

1. Midwest Select Triple Door Dog Crate. How could you ever house train without a crate? Things have been going great since I picked this one up at Petmart. Austin only had accidents in it for the first few days, now he's clean and dry, loves his bed, takes naps in it every afternoon voluntarily, and I've been able to expand his sleeping area to half the kennel size. Good dog.

2. Zuke's Dog Treats: Thanks to the Brookside Barkery, home of all things natural and delightfully expensive for your pets, I came across these all-natural dog treats and teeth cleaners, which my dog absolutely loves (unfortunately due to the price tag). Now I'm buying him the gourmet treats online (sorry Brookside, but they're a lot cheaper). I'll make a snob out of him yet. I also really like the NOW! Puppy Chow, but there's quite a hefty price to that as well so for now he's on Eukanuba. I'm sticking with natural treats except for...

3. Rachel Ray's Hamburger Dog Treats. They are $1 a bag at Wal-Mart, and the dog loves them.

4. Puppy classes at Wayside Waifs. Austin loves puppy classes and he's learning so fast! There's only 4 or 5 puppies in each class, and you get one-on-one attention. Through the moral support of the class, Austin is learning bite inhibition, conquered his fear of the stairs, socializes with puppies every week, and is learning sit, down, stay and come. (He's incredible at sit, impressive at stay, tolerable at down and terrible with come. Glad we've still got some more classes.) Thanks to our instructor, Skip Daiger

5. Shawnee Mission Dog Park The dog park is a 53-acre off-leash area features a dog swim beach and wood chip and natural surface trails through grassland and wooded areas. The area also includes paved parking and portable toilets. Austin gets to meet lots of new friends, puppies, grown-up dogs, children and people. He's so cute, he always gets attention. One note: Shawnee Mission Park is chock full of deer so make sure you and your pup have appropriate tick repellent. Neither of you want to get lyme disease :(

6. Kong Chew Toys Austin's gonna be a chewer, this much I've figured out. To get him started chewing on the right things, I got him a Puppy Kong Chew toy. I spent literally hours at different times and different places looking at puppy toys. Most of them were just ridiculous and cheap. I took one look at the "stuffed Christmas themed bear" and went, "yep that'll get ripped apart and swallowed before dinner." Or those cheap squeaker chew toys? Annoying. So I did some research. I figured if I could find 5-10 durable, healthy toys that would last for a while and I didn't have to worry about him ingesting them while he's bored in the middle of the night, it would probably be worth spending a few more dollars. All my friends agree on the Puppy Kong.

7. Petsmart Grooming: With a puppy like Austin, he likes to get wet, dirty and have lots of fun. I'm not in the confident place of washing (and drying) him myself, especially in the cold weather, so it was a lifesaver when I discovered Petsmart Grooming gives puppies under 6 months a bath for $10.99. Yep, can't beat that with a stick, and he gets some more socialization time. They always say he's a little angel, and he gets to say "hey!" to some 5-10 other people in the store on the way in and out, while I get to go shopping.

8. The Stuffed Duck. In the world of dog toys, nothing so far compared to the stuffed mallard duck. It's got a not-so-annoying, somewhat believable quack, and Austin LOVES it. He sleeps with his duck, plays puppy ATTACK! with his duck, and drags it around the house.

9. Dr. Lyle at Crest Animal Hospital. Finding a vet can be a little difficult. When Saber was sick, we went to Banfield, which is the clinic our of Petsmart. To be honest, it just felt a little commercial to me - like they see way too many animals. Growing up, we went to a vet in Richmond Missouri who was the nicest lady - she was also a farm vet, so it wasn't unusual to see horse trailers parked outside her office. There is something special about that small-town practice, and the personal care provide. Vets are like dentists, and recommendations are always a good place to start. Wayside recommended Dr. Lyle, and I couldn't be happier AND he's my neighbor.

I know I'm learning a lot about dogs, but I'm also learning a lot about me. I have to tell you, it's been great coming home and not thinking and worrying about work, coming up with some new "strategies" or internally rehashing my relationships, or over-analyzing my future. Right now, everything is... "Do you need to go outside?" And that's okay.

Read more about Austin by following his